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How do horses affect your dating?

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Have you noticed how selective we have had to become while searching for love and keeping our horse dreams alive?

Everyone has there own thoughts on how to keep horses in their lives. The trick is in finding that special someone to share our life with who will also enjoy them.

Personally, I would not want to be involved with a man who has his own barn and horses. I have decided that I really do not want to be tied down to a 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, job of anykind, anymore. Of course, if he has a good barn manager and grooms, than I might think differently...maybe.

I have also noticed that those who are not as horse oriented as some of us do not understand this connection that we have with horses. I have dated some men who were jeolous of my horse world. They simply did not understand this passion. In fact, I was married once (so long ago) and he gave me a choice between him and horses. As if there is a choice...LOL.

I am sure there are many stories out here. What have you been experiencing in your search?

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Ok folks. Time to fess up. Does anyone have time to date in the horse world? Can we really share our love of horses with a human?

Does it matter if that human is into horses or not? (Is it so bad we call them humans and not potential partners?)

And what if you ride saddle seat and the other person is a natural horseman? Can the two of you get along?

Is it really possible to talk a cowboy into wearing a helmet or breeches?

How do the horses in your life affect your dating?

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Hi. Live. No need to give up. There are many good men out there waiting to meet you. The problem is in finding a way to meet them. That is what is great about this internet dating. We are exposed to men who are brave enough to try to try this form of communication. As you can see, the men who are here are better than average. Have you tried doing a search on the men in your area from here? There are also more men on the forums on this site.

This site is growing more every day. As it does more horsepeople will keep coming in. These people seem to be looking for both friends, and others for serious dating.

If I may suggest, you might also want to consider a non horseman who will let you do your horse thing while he does what he likes to do. Sometimes it is nice this way....

And one more thing. Since you are in your 30s. Men, like women, seem to get more mature and focused on who they are, and what they want out of life as they get older and more experienced. Just ask any of us...LOL.

Do not give up. Instead practice here. You will find that you will learn a great deal about men, and yourself.

In the meantime, I am sending Kurt over to you...

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you see thats why im not dating i refuse to intangle myself with someone who is so short sighted they cant have the open mindedness to allow they dont know it all. seems like the only cowboys mature enough for this way of thinking are quiet a bit older then me.we get along well and ive thought about dating a few of them.but given that fact im in my mid 30s but don't look it I look old eough to be one of their younger daughters. So we become good friends. What amazes me these men will go to a bar find someone who looks closer to their age hook up and quite being them selves they stop riding and become couch potatoes then when things fall apart they go back to being cowboys and complain how there is no true cowgirls out there.....it amazes me.
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LOL! live. Everyone has different beliefs in horse training, politics or spiritual choices.

For some people this is a deal breaker. Others are able to see around what is being said to see who is really behind those choices and beliefs, and why they believe what they do. Sometimes it is simply a lack of education or having the knowledge available so that they can see other views of what reality can be for people depending on where they were born, and what they have been exposed to in life.

Some people might argue with you and tell you that you are wrong. That shows who they are as they will not allow you to have your own thoughts based on your experiences. Sometimes the best thing to do is let them ramble on without debating them, as they will not debate. To them it is either their way or you are going to he.. Lol. If this is someone you are considering dating my suggestion is to simply say to take a deep breath, tell yourself "next"... and maybe let them be a friend.

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for the most part im pretty quiet person at work.Im not the one who would tell a dirty joke, and I probably would not get it if one was told to me.I do have a sence of humor and when I use it I suprise everyone around.Plus the fact no one really knows im looking for a riding buddy/friend/compainion. I keep all that to myself.It best that way.I have security gards who spend alot of time with me on a nightly basis and they love to see who can make me blush. So last night they started in again. I listened politly. Now I know my singleness is an issue with them.they for get I have my own radio and can listen in on their comments.So they were in the reception area giving me a bad time and I got seriouse looking and told them I had an important question.Now my sister almost blew this whole thing because she nows me to well she just up and left.I looked them all in the eye and repeated all my good qualities I'd been overhearing lately and said. Now if Im such a good catch how come is it no one asks me out????? The room got silent real quick and they all looked at the top of there shoes.One of the older men looked at me and got a grinn he said well hun thats cuz non of them walk like a cowboy.
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Sending out invites might be the idea. So far I see that 33 people have viewed this blog...most of them men! Unless their horses have gotten inside and started typing online. Which is very possible as I believe many horses are smarter than we are...

As to dates from before. As I said, I have been dating from another site. Most of them have been gentleman... there was one situation that could have turned very ugly. But it was when I was new to this world. It was the only date that I ran from. I thought that I knew who he was as we had talked for so long. Rule #1. NO matter how much you think you know somone online. Never go with them back to the hotel room.

Other than him, my experiences were pretty good. I have simply found that there are places I do not want to relocate to. I really do not want to live in a big city. I also do not want to go into a situation with young children, or deal with a man going through a seperation or divorce. I am sure that most here will agree with all of these.

As to the kissing part. Unless I am connected to a man emotionally. I am not interested in the physical...maybe men are wired differently. Now I know if they start talking sexually too soon that they are really only looking for an intimate encounter. Being horse people (who have been involved in breeding at some point) we are very comfortable talking the sex language. However, non-horse men seem to take this as a sign that we must want it, NOW. LOL.

I have added a new blog today that I wrote it while on the other site that talks about some of those issues. You might enjoy it. It is titled "What I have learned about men."
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I actually know a few guys who have kinder disapline beliefs. Problem is they do way to much talking at and not enough talking with. I am tired of defending my beliefs. I am open minded. I do gather information and I do change my mind on some issues. I do not have to be browbeat into there way of thinking.
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Ok Star,
I think we're going to have to start sending out invitations. I'm beginning to feel like we're having our own personal chat. Maybe we need to spice up the topic a bit, I'm afraid I don't have much in my cabinet.

I did have a stolen kiss on my first online "date." Guys let me give you one HUGE piece of advice. When her car door is open, her arms are crossed and she has one foot in the door you are NOT a candidate for even a kiss on the cheek, much less a French kiss. Blech!!!!!!! Read the body language! If not - you WILL get slapped, and deleted as soon as she gets home. That man was not a horseman - maybe that was his problem. :-D... How did horses affect that date? Hmmmm Any smidgen of equine conversation was met with a blank stare and the topic immediately reverted back to military container boxes. :-( The horses saved the day as they had been in the barn all afternoon and needed to go out. I had invited him to come help me muck out...he declined - Surprise!!! So - there's 1 point in the "good column" for the horses.

good horse 1...bad horse 0

I've had some good dates, too, but the bad ones are soooooo much more fun to talk about! :-D

Ok guys - it's your turn. :-D

By the way....Happy Thanksgiving

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Nancy (almostannie).

I thought he looked like a hunter pony. Very cute. You breed nice horses.

The horse in my photo is not mine. In fact, I do not own a horse. My clients buy me nice horses to play with. That one is a Hanoverian mare. I have ridden almost every style of riding and every breed. Now I am a Horsemanship Educator. I was a keynote speaker at the Orlando, FL. USPC Nationals. The USPC is a great organization!

I have dated men from another site. I will not say how many. Only two did not match their profiles. The men I met where gentleman. Some I traveled too meet, others came here.I have learned in this search that I really do not want to live in some areas, that I can be selective, and that I do have value, even with non-horse men. As of such, I am taking my time and making new friends as I continue looking around.

Who knows where this will all go...I keep learning more all the time. Like you said, always meet in a public place. I also ask anyone who I am meeting to show me who they are on a web cam. (They are about $40 at Wally world) That way I can see who they really are...if they cannot afford a web cam I do not want to meet them.

As you said, the trick is not to get lost in a fantasy. I have seen so many women, and men, think that they are falling in love with the chats, IMs, emails and phone calls that develop as we get to know another person. Those who are new to on line dating tend to create a fantasy relationship very quickly. The problem is, that when they meet...the fantasy does not match the reality and they do not know what to do...as the person they have created the fantasy about is not the person they have now met. Nothing is real until we meet that person eye to eye. Also, if the men start talking the "sex" game very quickly, they really are not looking for a partner.

And so, I am staying with that 50 horse rule. The ones I meet are friends first. Maybe the relationship will go futher, maybe not. But I do not care as my life is busy and I now know there are soooo many choices out there, once we learn how to play the game. I am still trying to figure it out. Hmmmm. Seems a little bit like riding horses...

What I am finding I like best about this site is that we can talk horses, or dating. The best of both worlds.

How long have you been here? What results are you finding?

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Hello again Star,

The grey in the picture, Harry, is a TB/Connemarra cross. He's a home bred baby, and was bred to be a pony club mount or an event horse for a small woman. He is a fabulous little horse! And around here EVERYBODY loves Harry. He does have a story, and I may post it some time.

What about your horse.. He looks quite special. What type of riding do you do?

To answer your question, I do not show anymore. I'm having just as good a time breeding and starting my own guys and then letting the pony clubbers take over. (Well I'm down to 2 horses and don't plan to add to my menagerie again anytime soon) I love pony club - every kid that rides English should be in it. It's the team sport of the horse world. They should change the name as it congers up visions of little kids on their Thelwell ponies. It has gotten extremely competitive, and a lot of the top event riders these days started in pony club.

I believe all my pictures were taken at home.

As far as dating - I always try to keep in mind that he is human. For the most part I don't think people misrepresent themselves, but I do tend to draw my own mental romanticised picture of a man that I've met on line. I have to remind myself of that if we do meet. Just because he doesn't fit my "vision" doesn't mean that he's not an extrordinary person. It's difficult at times to put that vision aside so that you can get to know the real person. (It can be REALLY hard sometimes).

I've only been out with one total cad. And while we were texting to determine time and place to meet I realized that he was not something I wanted to persue, however my curiosity had been piqued, and I wanted to see if he really was as special as he thought himself to be.(not a smart move girls) He wasn't. Had one beer and before the appetizer arrived I laid money on the table for my share and said "Good bye." Thank goodness I had parked right next to the front door. Blech!!

My only rule is that we meet in a public place, and probably more than once. I relaxed this rule one time and met a man at his farm. It was a lovely place, and he was a perfect gentleman, but the entire time I was thinking to myself "This is really, really, REALLY stupid." My internal alarm didn't reset until I was almost home (over an hour later).

I do catch up with one man from time-to-time. It's a fun relationship, but he lives 2 hours away so getting quality face-to-face time is a challenge.
This relationship is unique in that once we met we discovered that there were several people that we both knew, also our kids knew each other in college. Having those connections made things a lot more comfortable. So I've made a great friend.

Except for the cad, I would go out with any one of them again.

If we stick to the 50 horse rule,then I have a ways to go. There are an awful lot of nice ones out there. :-)

Back to you

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Heeelllloooo! Almostannie. So happy to see you here! I agree with all you have said. That is a pretty horse in your photo. Looks like you might be at a horse show there. What style of riding do you participate in?

I also came from another site. That is where I learned to play in this type of world. At first I was shy as they were not horse people. Not anymore! The best thing about this form of communication is that no one really knows who we are...until we let them know by what we write and comment.

I have also found unexpected benefits. I now also have friends all over the world. Not that I needed more friends, but these are different. This blogging has brought out a side of me that I may not always share with those I am around in my real world. I have also met people I have chatted with on line, and dated men from all over the country. (until I realized that I really did not want to relocate completely) I must admit, the quality of people that I have met is very good...I never imagined that this world existed a few years ago. Now I find it has become a daily ritual of sorts. It is funny. We came to find love and have found soooo much more than that.

I have found that there are many more selections and choices out here than I have ever had when it comes to a potential love interest. However, I have also learned that until I meet them eye to eye, that they may not be who or what I thought they were. Have you had this happen?

I believe that horses have affected my dating life. Somehow this search has become like buying a horse. LOL. What is that saying, "Try 50 horses before you buy one?"

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Hello Starhorse,
Thanks for starting this blog! I think we can have some fun with it. My criteria for serious dating is that he have a passion for something. I think many guys can get jealous of the horses, but I also think they are perplexed by our ability to get completely lost in this crazy passion. (also by the amount of cash we can dump into it) I find men who sail or fly fish or have upland gun dogs or water dogs can understand this consuming passion as they have experienced it as well. I'm certain they have the same problems as horsewomen/men when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex.
On this site I am pen pals with people (male and female) all over the country - actually the world. Most of them will never go beyond my computer screen, but if I ever were to travel to an area where one of them lived I at least have a contact and possibly a horse to ride. (if I'm lucky - maybe I'll get invited south this winter :-D) That's the fun thing about this site. We all share a wonderful connection. On other sites - if you don't meet face to face fairly quickly, then the relationship fizzles. I've never been out with anyone from this site, but I have more fun here. :-)
Horses have given me a wonderful life... Emerson said it very well "Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion. It seizes a person whole and, once it has done so, he will have to accept that his life will be radically changed."
I think any horseman can relate to this. Can't you? Pleased to meet you.....Nancy

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Quoting: Originally posted by countryrider2
I agree. Men don't seem to understand the bond. I don't even try much anymore. I love my horses and I spend every spare moment with them. When I walk out to the corral and here them nicker as they see me coming. Some men just don't get it. I would have to find one that truly shared my passion for horses. Then, I'd date him.
Hi, Country!

There are those who will never understand this passion that we have, and others who do. It is up to us to find out as soon as we can and before we have an emotional attachment.

There are men who do understand as they feel the same way. The question is in how to get them to find you. Which brings to mind another question for you. Are you willing to share part of your time with a man? Will you be able to treat him like one of your horses?

This is the secret that we, as horse people, need to know when in a relationship. Our significant other really needs to feel more like our favorite horse.
That way, when we walk over to them...they will also nicker.

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Quoting: Originally posted by livetooride
Its become clear for the last two yrs of me being single.That finding a man who wants to share my world with me is slim next to none. If I find a man who is into horses his beleifs are so far from mine in how to handle a horse it would just cause problems. So my companions are my horses. Like I told my riding instructor you have assets, how we handle them is diffrent and the result is diffrent.
Welcome livetoride.

Two years being single is not so bad. I choose my horse career over any relationship, for 12 years! Now I am trying to balance my life a little better.

I understand what you say about other horse people (and a man you might be with) having different views on what we do. This is similar to someone who rides only western, dating someone who rides only saddle seat. The difference in the styles is huge. Yet, the basics can all be the same. Maybe it would be better to focus on a horseman who uses kinder training techniques.(regardless of discipline)

There are many men out here looking for a women who can understand the lifestyle those with this passion for horses have.

If they can find you.

The good news is that you have come to a horse dating site. You never know who you might meet, or who might notice you. I have found(another site) that blogging and writing in the forums does help. I would also suggest going to the search and looking at who is interesting to you. Save them in your favorites and they will get a note saying you have done this. Or wink at them. Why not? What have you got to lose?

The choice and the results are yours.

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Hello Cali. Welcome to my blog. Maybe we can find more reasons for you to blog. We need more people in here to play with.

Please do not line me up along a fence, nekked. and in this cold weather. I promise that I would not notice any men...can you imagine a line of nekked men lining up? (not to mention in the cold LOL!) Maybe we could also get them to dance. (See photo below. I added the outfits, sunshine, and ocean, as this blog would be deleted by the powers that be for showing the guys fun parts...)

I would agree with what you say for most horse people. Your words were well thought out and clear.

However, I have been serious in the horse business as a pro for many, many years now. I will not bore you with all the details, but...I would be very comfortable with someone who does not have a barn of horses to take care of. I have been there, done that. Personally, I have found that there are so many choices out here in this on line dating world that I can be selective. For me, this search for a partner is like looking for a horse for myself or a client.

As you said chemistry is the key. Thank you bringing that up. Chemistry in online dating is a tricky buisness. What I have learned is that until we meet someone eye to eye, that we really do not know who that person is. The chemistry that might be felt by emails, IMs or even phone calls is often not the same as what happens when you meet someone in person. Most people who are newer to online dating tend to get lost in a make believe fantasy relationship, one that they create and keep building on, before they meet that other person. The problem is that when they finally meet the other person that fantasy is hard to live up to, for both people. Than they are stuck in those feelings and espectations of the person of their fantasy, who is not the person that they have met...It can be confusing but seems to be how most people start this process. Now, I do not build up and expectations before I meet a man. I ask the questions that are important to me, hope his photos are current, and than find a safe public place to meet them.

Have you met anyone from here or any other on line dating site? What experiences have you had?

I am new to this site so have no idea what happens here. But it can only get better with all of us here...

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1 year ago
Hey there....too cold of a day to take a walk in the park and I'm very much in need of a break from the stack of papers waiting for my review here in my office so I'll bite...

I can honestly say for me the answer is No I haven't had to become more selective just because I have horses in my life. For my own sake (because Lord knows I'm not perfect) I'm hoping the secret to finding the one has more to do with not being so selective. Gosh, if we started taking guys off the list just because they had or didn't have some thing we'd all have a pretty short list at the end of the day. To put it bluntly, if you lined us all up on the fence line naked as a Jay bird I guarantee you wouldn't be thinking about whether or not the cowboy that caught your eye was tied down to a barn 24/7 or whether he had barn manager lol Let's face it ..finding the one starts with chemistry. My theory = we were not put on this earth to match each other step for step, we were designed to compliment and support one another. Having an open mind and being willing to accept the differences we see in each other is key. I think horse folk are extremely fortunate because horses help us to understand that a real partnership is about mutual respect, understanding and patience. I don't believe for a second having horses makes finding a man more difficult. I don't really care if he is as horse crazy as me. Some men might prefer goats or motorcycles. That's fine. I just need him to love and respect me and give me the freedom to enjoy what makes me happy. Just as I will love and support him and give him the freedom to enjoy what makes him happy. It would be an added bonus if we both loved horses but at the end of the day when it's just the two of us sittin on the porch swing no horses, no motorcycles, no goats..lol it's a man with integrity who loves me unconditionally that I want beside me. I'd be willing to bet the men you dated wouldn't have been jealous of your horse if they'd had a passion of their own.

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I agree. Men don't seem to understand the bond. I don't even try much anymore. I love my horses and I spend every spare moment with them. When I walk out to the corral and here them nicker as they see me coming. Some men just don't get it. I would have to find one that truly shared my passion for horses. Then, I'd date him.
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Its become clear for the last two yrs of me being single.That finding a man who wants to share my world with me is slim next to none. If I find a man who is into horses his beleifs are so far from mine in how to handle a horse it would just cause problems. So my companions are my horses. Like I told my riding instructor you have assets, how we handle them is diffrent and the result is diffrent.