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As I continue with the horse I pulled out of very poor living conditions, I am making progress. We still have lots of issues, and one of them is respect. She can be very disrespectful. I have gained her respect, however, my 15 year old daughter is the one that rides and shows her. My daughter gets very frustrated and this little horse can test her to her limits. How do I help my daughter understand and work on gaining her respect? One of the biggest issues is, this horse will not stand still for her on the halter, while mounting or just to stop and stand. Any suggestions?
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I help all my childrens horses by makeing sure the horse understands there requirements b4 one of my kids handle them. In this situation I would make sure that if this horse even so much as thought of stepping away when I went to mount. I would remind her it is much more work away from me then next to me. : If she stepped away I would cause her to work if she remained close I would allow relaxing time.
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I would suggest going out and visiting your local pros. to see who might be a good choice for you to choose for your daughters continuing education and safety with horses. See how they teach and train (no charge for watching) and so if there is anyone who you (your daughter) might feel comfortable working with. (Even if only once a month) Develop a relationship of sorts with them. There are many inherent risks of horsemanship that many people new to horses do not understand, but a pro can help you safely find a way past...

Your safety, and the safety of your daughter is number one.
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What I especially like about what you said is, "if she even hinted"...
Rewarding or discouraging the thought as opposed to the action is the key!
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1 year ago
I had a similar experience with an Arabian. I knew little of her past and she was consumed by fear. Calli (the real she would dance around like a cat on a hot tin roof whenever I put a foot in the stirrup so I had a long lead on her as well as her normal bridle and tack and when I went to mount if she even hinted at moving I would immediately get down and make her work in a tight circle and in the end she learned it was easier just to stand and let me mount. It took days maybe even weeks but each time we hit a road block I just gave her something to do she liked less than what I was asking of her...essentially reverse psychology. Time, patience and above all else being consistent proved to be the secret to her success. My daughter and Calimero became quite a good team. Calli is retired now and looking back I do believe in the end she taught me more than I taught her.

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Yeah, this is always the problem. Respect is not easily transferred. The responsibility essentially lies with your daughter. The horse is just being herself... testing the environment. I'm guessing that you have been doing all of the "grunt work" with the horse? Hence a certain amount of respect has been developed between the two of you. Your daughter is going to have to take your place, which means that she is going to have to make the commitment to learn how to communicate. I would recommend that she start the horse all over again from scratch so that she can learn how to develop a good feel with the horse. That is the foundation of respect. Do you have a good 4-H program in your area with mentors experienced in starting colts? If so, she would gain the required knowledge to do this. She needs people experienced in colt starting - NOT good riders or people experienced in "showing" horses.

I had the opportunity to work with a bunch of young kids down in CO a couple seasons ago. They ranged from high school barrel racers to aspiring dressage competitors. They couldn't understand why I could ride their horses, load their horses, their horses would stand obediently with me... when they couldn't accomplish this themselves. Many of their horses were high dollar critters, supposedly that came out of the box "ready to ride". I endured their (the kids') impatience and smirking indifference for a couple days as I guided them through the most simplistic ground work - Hey! These were hot little horse women (legends in their own minds) and they had the ribbons on their walls to prove it! But there was one quite meek little girl, very inexperienced but with a determined eye, riding a borrowed rag-tag ranch horse, that paid close attention. By the second day no one could escape taking notice that her horse (they were hiding off to the edge of the elite group) was softening and responding to her very well. I think you can guess the rest of the story? One by one the other older kids swallowed their pride and began to follow her lead and at the end of three days through some "MIRACLE" their horses were starting to get better! Well of course it was the kids who got better, the horses were OK all along.

What I'm saying in a round about way is that she needs to seek out from you or others the knowledge of how to start a horse and things will work out on their own. When I start a horse I'm essentially offering myself up to the horse, presenting myself in a way that the horse can understand and feel comfortable with. (I'm just opening the door to communication a crack.) This long before expecting anything in return. I go along with the horse in a respectful manner before I ask for the horse to go along with me. We all have to earn respect, no one has ever succeeded in demanding it. Good luck and keep us posted?