An Old Farmer's Advice: Funny jokes and anecdotes

  • View author's info Posted on Apr 10, 2006 at 09:41 PM

    An Old Farmer's Advice:

    * Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

    * Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

    * Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

    * A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

    * Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

    * Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

    * Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

    * Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

    * It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

    * You cannot unsay a cruel word.

    * Every path has a few puddles.

    * When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

    * The best sermons are lived, not preached.

    * Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

    * Don't judge folks by their relatives.

    * Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

    * Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

    * Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

    * Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

    * If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

    * Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

    * The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

    * Always drink upstream from the herd.

    * Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

    * Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

    * If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

    * Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
  • 3Comments

  • View author's info Posted on Jan 29, 2012 at 03:35 AM

    That made me smile :-)
  • View author's info Posted on Aug 07, 2006 at 08:31 PM

    Great words of wisdom,

    One I would like to add is if you trust someone who doesn't deserve it then their the loser, if you don't trust someone that deserves it than your the loser.
  • View author's info Posted on Apr 22, 2006 at 12:32 PM

    Some of my Dad's favorite sayings.
    I wish he were here today.
    Thank you........